Five times
by Dark-Dreymer
Summary: Five times the Scoobies found out about Giles and Xander and one time they didn't . Slash, with spoilers up to the season 7 finale.


1- Post Chosen  
Willow frowned at her bottle and peeled away a loose corner of the label, chewing her bottom lip she appeared deep in thought.  
"Come on, while we're young," Faith teased.  
"I- I never had a one-night stand," The witch said in triumph.  
"Oh girl, you don't know what you're missing." Faith cheerily took a gulp from her seventh beer.  
"In my experience, a wild night followed by attempted murder," Xander quipped before drinking his own beer.  
"Oh, you loved it." Faith slurred.  
"Right up until the strangling part."  
"Would you pass me the bottle opener?" Giles asked politely.  
"Giles?" Faith seemed confused when the Watcher opened a second bottle.  
"What, I'm not allowed to have had a rebellious youth?" Giles inquired one eyebrow raised.  
"G, score!" Faith laughed and raised a hand that the man eyed with scrutiny, "Come on, don't leave me hanging." Rolling his eyes Giles reluctantly met the high-five.  
"I don't think Parker counts," Buffy said uncertainly, "It's not my fault he was a jerk."  
"It was still a one-night stand." Willow managed to sound apologetic.  
"Wow, you're all kinda slutty," Andrew remarked.  
"Oh really," Buffy glared at the young man as she drank, "Your turn then, oh pure one. What have you never done?"  
"Me? I- uh-" Andrew looked a little lost for a minute, before quickly declaring, "I never had naughty thoughts about Xander."  
Xander seemed pleasantly surprised when the blond slayer drank from her beer, "Buffy, you had naughty thoughts about me?"  
"Just that time you were on the swim team," Buffy hastily defended herself.  
"You had naughty thoughts about Xander. You had naughty thoughts about Xander," Willow teased in a sing-song voice.  
"Well I never kissed him!" Buffy argued back.  
"Damn," Willow picked up her drink again and took another gulp, "But it was only kissing," she was quick to add, "I never slept with Xander."  
"Ooh, me again." Faith giggled and reached to pick up her beer, accidentally knocking it over, "Oh nooooo!" The brunette slayer seemed on the verge of tears as she bent her head onto the table and started slurping up the pooling alcohol.  
Everyone's attention was dragged away from the inebriated slayer by the sound of a bottle landing on the table.  
"Giles?" Buffy looked at the man's empty beer bottle in confusion.  
"I never had sex with Giles," Willow said after a moment of thought, directing her attention to Xander.  
"Cheers." Xander beamed and lifted his bottle towards his best friend.

2- Set during 'Earshot'  
_What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex... Help! Four times five is thirty... five times six is thirty-two... Naked women. Naked men... Naked Giles. Oh, god!_ Xander's eyes widened in fear and he quickly scrambled out of his chair and fled the library. Buffy's shocked gaze followed him out of the room before turning to settle on Giles.  
Giles had taken off his glasses and was pinching the bridge of his nose, _It rather seems he's blown it... Oh. _Giles eyes widened and Buffy physically recoiled as she picked up the mental image from Giles of Xander knelt under the library counter doing things to him that made her want to claw her own eyes out.  
"Giles!" Buffy's horrified shriek shattered the silence of the library.  
_Oh bugger!_

3- Set early season 4  
"Come on Xander. It's a Friday night and we're at The Bronze, there must be some lucky girl you'd like to ask to dance." Willow playfully nudged her friend.  
"Last Friday night a former demon invaded my basement demanding sex and dropped her dress as an incentive to that deal," Xander shuddered slightly at the memory, "So, Willow, much as I appreciate your support there will be no girls and no dancing for me until I've earned enough money from my dead end pizza delivery job to pay for a therapist or a lobotomy."  
"So you had one bad experience..."  
"One traumatic experience that will haunt me til the day I die."  
"One bad experience..." Willow carried on valiantly, "That doesn't mean you should just give up. Get out there. Carpe diem!"  
"Fish of the day?" Xander asked confused.  
"Why does everyone always think that?" Willow asked sounded deflated, "Latin is such an unappreciated language."  
"Willow's right-" Oz started to speak.  
"About the Latin?" Willow cut across.  
"Not about the Latin, it's a dead tongue Will," Oz patted the redhead's hand sympathetically before turning back to Xander, "So Anya wasn't the girl for you, there's plenty more fish in the sea."  
"What're we talking about?" Buffy asked, hopping up and claiming a seat next to Xander.  
"They're trying to convince me to get out there and hook myself a girl," Xander explained, miming a fishing reel.  
"Oh," Buffy shrugged, "There any girls you feel like hooking?"  
Xander looked out across the dance floor and spotted Giles stood by the bar, trying to attract the attention of the barman, the young man grinned, "Yeah I see someone."  
"Where?" Buffy stood up slightly so her eye line was level with Xander's, "That girl next to Giles?"  
"No."  
"The one on his other side?" Willow asked.  
"No."  
"The one behind him, the one who just spilled her drink? Hey, you could go give her a napkin! Here." Buffy quickly handed Xander a napkin.  
"It isn't her Buffy."  
"Xander?" Willow turned from watching the girls to look at her friend, "It's not- it's not _Giles_ is it?"  
Xander blushed and scrunched the napkin into a ball before giving a slight nod.  
"Giles?" Buffy repeated the name, as though putting all her disbelief into the word could alter the fact that Xander liked him.  
"If he were a fish, he's the one I'd hook," Xander answered watching the older man accept the tray with their drinks on it and start making his way back to the table.  
"Can't you choose another fish?" Buffy asked, "A younger fish, a less British fish, a fish that isn't my watcher?"  
"I'm sorry?" Giles inquired as he set the tray of drinks down in front of them, "A fish as your watcher?" He seemed rather bemused.  
"Willow thinks we should go to the aquarium," Xander cut into the silence as he reached for one of the glasses of cola.  
"Is it haunted?" Giles inquired, "I'd assume so, I can't exactly see vampires setting up a home in an aquarium."  
"Not _us._" Xander waved an arm around the five of them gathered at the table, "Us." He waved a hand between himself and Giles to clarify his meaning, "Like, on a date."  
"Well, uh..." Giles started polishing his glasses as he turned to Willow, "It's rather sweet of you to suggest it, but we actually planned to take a trip to the museum."  
"Kill me now," Xander stage-whispered to the witch, who had to try not to giggle.  
"It's rather a lot better than that awful science-fiction film you made us see last week." Giles replaced his glasses to enhance the effect of his glare.  
"It could have been worse, I could have taken you to monster trucks." Xander grinned as the current song ended and a new one started up, "Come on lover, dance with me," Xander teased, half-pulling the former librarian out of his chair and onto the dance floor.  
"They're... _together._" Buffy stated in a monotone as she watched Giles pull the younger man close.  
"I think it's sweet," Willow gushed, snuggling closer to Oz.  
"They're... _together_." Buffy repeated, she seemed a little shell-shocked.  
"Maybe you should take her back to your dorm," Oz suggested.  
"Yeah, she seems to be taking it a bit hard," Willow eased Buffy out of her chair and started navigating her towards the door.  
"They're... _together._" Buffy said yet again, watching with wide eyes as Xander leaned up to kiss Giles.

4- Post- Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  
"Are you still mad at me?" Xander's voice drifted out of the office as Buffy pushed the door to the library open.  
"A little," Giles's reply was just as audible. It sounded like an argument and Buffy wasn't sure if she should announce her arrival and break it up or let it happen, she glanced backwards at Willow who simply shrugged.  
"I'm just... sorry," Xander's sheepish tone was almost quiet enough to not carry out into the main library.  
"It's all right Xander," There was some warmth in the older man's tone now, "I simply don't see why you would resort to a love spell."  
"It wasn't a love spell!" Xander quickly argued, "Okay so maybe it was," He admitted a moment later, "But I didn't want Cordelia to fall in love with me so we could be together, I wanted her to love me so I could reject her, like she rejected me. I didn't want... I _don't_ want her back."  
"I understand Xander, but seeing every woman in Sunnydale openly lusting after you when I am not allowed that privilege... It was infuriating."  
Buffy's jaw dropped and she saw Willow's eyes widen until she could see white all around, even so Xander was still speaking, "I'm sorry. I'm really so-mmph." Then he wasn't speaking and suddenly Buffy's mind was thinking of other things people did with their mouths besides speaking.  
Letting go of the door she'd been holding open so that it slammed closed with a loud, warning bang Buffy stepped further into the library, "Giles!"  
"Ah Buffy," Giles stepped out of the office a moment later, he seemed the same as ever except for one tuft of hair sticking up at an odd angle, normally it wouldn't have drawn her attention but that one little tuft of hair was now screaming 'Giles and Xander were kissing!'  
"Hey Buffy," Xander stepped out of the office too, "I was just helping Giles with, uh... filing."  
The lameness of the lie and the way Giles nervously flattened down the tuft of hair she'd been scrutinizing helped Buffy to make her decision; she'd play dumb until they decided to tell her. She shared a look with Willow to confirm the other girl had reached the same conclusion. Forcing a cheery smile she looked over to the books out on the main table and asked, "What're we researching today?"

5- Set Sometime in Season 5  
"...you look into the cauldron and it'll show you the reflection of your true love," Willow finished explaining as she read about the spell from a book.  
"What if it's somebody we've never seen before in our lives?" Buffy asked, "Won't we then freak out when we meet them for the first time and scare them off?"  
"The s-spell only works if you know your true love," Tara explained looking up from the cauldron, "So if you h-haven't met them yet it just s-stays blank." The blond witch added a final sprinkling of thyme to the boiling mixture and joined hands with her lover.  
"Goddess Diana do our will," Willow chanted with her eyes shut, "Let us see with eyes of passion. Let us see whose heart beats in time with our own. Let us see a love that's true. Nayeli!" There was a spark of light as Willow finished the incantation and the cauldron's water turned a vivid shade of pink, silvery fumes rose into the air and filled the shop with the scent of fresh flowers.  
The two witches nervously opened their eyes and stared down at the pink water, there was a moment of silence and then they both stepped back and hugged each other beaming brightly.  
"I love you Tara," Willow squeezed the other woman tight.  
"I love you too Willow."  
"My true love."  
"My soul mate."  
The two women danced on the spot, still wrapped up in one another, "They look happy," Anya remarked, "I want to be that happy." She nudged Dawn out of the line that had formed behind the two witches and stepped up to the cauldron to look into the water.  
"Hey!" Dawn glared at the former demon. Anya ignored her and stood watching the pink surface for a few moments before standing back, "It isn't working. Make it work, make it show me Xander!"  
"Ahn," Xander took Anya's hand and led her towards the front of the shop, away from the others.  
"It won't work, I look and it just stays blank," Anya complained.  
"I'm not your true love," Xander explained rather sadly.  
"But- but we have really great sex, and you do that thing with your tongue..."  
"Ahn," Xander cut her off with a quick glance over to the others.  
"You make me feel all warm inside," Anya admitted, "How can that thing say you don't love me?"  
"I do love you; I'm just not your _true_ love," Xander sighed and tried to think how to explain it, "You know the warm feeling you get from me? If you meet your true love it'll be even better."  
"Will the sex be better too?"  
Xander chuckled, "Probably. So we'll stay together until one of us meets our true love, and after that we can still be friends. Is that a deal?"  
Anya seemed to consider it for a moment, "Okay, but only because of that thing with your tongue."  
"It's okay Dawnie, it just means you haven't met the right guy yet." Willow and Tara were busy trying to cheer up Dawn so she must have already looked, that meant it was Xander's turn. He'd been expecting the water to stay blank, a small part of him had been hoping he might see Buffy, but what he really hadn't expected was to see Giles.  
"Um, Giles?" Xander turned to look at the man standing behind him, "You're getting in the way of my true love's reflection. Could you step back a little?" The older man sighed, mumbled 'so silly' and stepped back two paces. Xander turned back to the cauldron, but Giles's visage was stubbornly remaining, "No, nothing," Xander lied and stepped away from the cauldron, going to sit beside Dawn.  
Xander remembered his feelings for Giles. They'd been back in high school, early on when Xander had first gotten to know Giles. Xander had stamped the feelings into tiny pieces, scooped all the fragments up, locked them in a box called denial and hidden that box in a shadowy, repressed little corner of his brain. But now the spell had found the box, opened it and glued the pieces back together. Giles was his true love?  
"I really don't see why I have to do this," Giles was busying arguing with his slayer, "Just because you all believe in this true love nonsense doesn't mean I have to."  
"Come on Giles," Buffy pushed him until he was in front of the cauldron, "Let's see if we can't find someone who'll liven you up a little."  
"I really don't thinks that's- ah."  
"Don't think that's _ah_?" Buffy asked, sounding confused.  
"Ah- it's, um, as I thought really..." Giles was looking down at the pink liquid, "Nothing." Xander didn't miss the quick look the older man sent his way.  
Reaching a decision Xander stood up and took two steps until he was stood next to Giles, tapping the older man on the shoulder so he turned to look at him Xander leaned forwards and kissed Giles fiercely. "Giles, you wanna me my true love?" Xander asked once they'd broken apart.  
"I- uh," Giles fought for breath before grinning, "Yes."  
"Did I just miss something?" Buffy asked looking between the two men in confusion.  
"Or maybe there's something in these fumes," Dawn suggested looking at the silvery mist filling the shop.  
"I never would have thought..." Giles whispered.  
"Me either," Xander agreed.  
"Xander!" Giles lost his hold on his newly revealed true love when Willow tackled him, "You're gay! That's so great, you're my big gay Xander."  
"Will, get off me!" Xander squirmed and tried not to laugh too much.  
"You're gonna be real happy," Anya said sidling up to her boss, "He does this great thing with his tongue."

And one time they didn't- Set early season 4  
"Giles!" Buffy practically knocked the door off it's hinges in her hurry to get inside, "Giles! It's..." She stopped short and blinked a few times before asking, "Why are you in a bathrobe?"  
"It may have something to do with it being seven in the morning," Giles remarked pouring a bowl of cereal.  
"Oh, yeah." Buffy looked a little sheepish.  
"Giles!" Willow hurried in through the door, "It's..." She stopped short gasping for breath and holding a stitch in her side.  
"Xander," Buffy finished for her oxygen-deprived friend, "He's missing."  
"We went to s-see him," Willow started to explain before stopping short when she started coughing.  
"His mom said he didn't come home last night," Buffy again continued for her friend, rubbing Willow's back as the witch coughed and spluttered, "Or the night before, we think something may have happened to him."  
"I'm sure he's quite all right." Giles stepped out of the kitchen, carrying the bowl of cereal with him.  
"How can you say that?" Buffy demanded, "He could be dead in a ditch somewhere, or _un_dead in a ditch somewhere, or he could be..."  
"Sitting on the couch," Willow stated watching Giles pass the bowl of cereal to Xander.  
"Xander?" Buffy ran around to the other side of the couch to see better, "Xander!"  
"Hey Buffy." Xander grinned and spooned sugar-coated cereal into his mouth.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Introducing Giles to the delights of watching Saturday morning cartoons," Xander explained, gesturing to the TV screen.  
"Is that why you're in your underwear?" Willow asked as she made her way round the other side of the couch.  
"Of course. Half the fun of watching Saturday morning cartoons is that you don't have to get dressed for it."  
"Even if you wanted to," Giles interjected, one hand picking at the material of his bathrobe.  
"So you stayed here last night?" Buffy questioned.  
"Here on this very couch," Xander nodded, "I spent the evening watching rental movies with Giles."  
"Then why weren't you at home the night before?" Willow asked.  
"I was working the night shift. Did mom not tell you?"  
"Oh... no, she didn't." Buffy stood up, "Sorry Xander, guess we overreacted."  
"No big deal," Xander shrugged and spooned more cereal into his mouth, "You were just worried."  
"Okay... well then, we have class and stuff so we should go." Buffy gestured over her shoulder awkwardly.  
"Oh okay, I guess we'll see you some other time then."  
"Yeah, bye."  
"Bye Xander, bye Giles." Willow stopped long enough to give Xander a one-armed hug and to steal a handful of dry cereal from the top of the bowl before following after Buffy.  
"Bye girls." Giles smiled and shut the door before sighing and leaning against it, "You think they noticed?"  
"I doubt it." Xander set his cereal down and turned to look over the back of the couch, "Though you think they would have noticed there are no blankets on this couch."  
"Or that rather incriminating love-bite on your neck," Giles grinned and walked across the room so he could lean down and kiss Xander's sugar frosted lips.

* * *

  
This fic was written for spring_with_xan 2009 on LJ, which finishes on May 31 '09. Head on over there and check out some of the other great stuff people have produced.


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